Not for those of a nervous disposition!

Well we all have those phobias that convince us that the sky is about to fall in. For Big Dog it's fireworks and as for Litle Hairy Dog? He's just found out....... smoke alarms. Well you see we had, as all good holders of a BSC (Boat Safety Certificate), a smoke alarm. But it was ten years old and well, push the little test button and....... silence. So we had to get a new one sometime. On a train visit to Newbury himself eventually gets one. Fixes it. Presses the little test button and......... silence. A duff one. So when we eventually arrive in Newbury by boat we get it exchanged fitted and fine and like all good smoke alarms, you are concocting some culinary delight and ....... beeeep!!!!! Well for a small hairy dog this is the trump of doom. The sky is about to fall in. Panic, shake and quiver, pant. Next day same thing. Oh b.....er, "Take the battery out," she says. Trouble is that now, the smell and sound of anything frying and........ shake, quiver, pant the thing hasn't gone off but it could do and then the sky WILL fall in. It's a hard life for a dog.

But we get ahead of ourselves. On the appointed day we move off to Hungerford and as planned joined a very good ringing practice. Went to the club for a cheap pint with the lads and lasses, as you do and himself (she declined) gets invited to ring in a quarter peal of Grandsire Triples on the Sunday evening for Evensong. Well we had planned to move to Kintbury for the weekend with the locks opening. "We'll come and fetch you," they say. "It's not far". It's then you get paranoid about the fates not wanting you to leave a place because the news from BW is, "Navigation closed at Burghfield lock. Boat sunk in mid-channel!" So we stay at Hungerford for the weekend.

The sun is shining it's warm so we grasp the opportunity to renovate the paintwork on the hull sides; she look lovely. Ringers recommend the Downgate pub for a good honest Sunday Lunch and our sons come to visit (it's Mothering Sunday). The quarter peal? Didn't get it; but himself acquitted himself well enough and has been promised another attempt when we return this way.

So Monday we set off for Newbury and spend a nice day there. Now this is where the waterway becomes a navigation where the canal joins the River Kennet for long stretches and this is where the fun begins (for those not of a nervous disposition). The sight of rushing water emerging from the channel on the left and the big rubber balloons round the sides of the narrow Newbury bridge give some intimation that this passage will not be at the usual leisurely 4 miles per hour. After watching to see how others tackled the task we go for it and after regaining quieter waters, do what all good boaters do after such an adrenalin rush; visit the laundrette.

The Kennet may be a small river and there may not have been any rain to speak of for weeks but it certainly knows how to flow. Sunken boat due to be raised Friday so on we go. Winds are strong making boat handling tricky so it's open both gates at the broad locks rather than the usual just open one and slide through. Sky looks black, sudden squall and some well placed trees to quickly belay mooring ropes prevent us being on the towpath with Avon Rose on the offside. Next day move off, share a lock, river section, quite wide, under the M4, round the corner, ALL ASTERN! Large tree blown down across the channel and a broad beam boat secured to the bank and it with its skipper wielding a saw to try and cut a way through. This is Friday the day we expect the sunken boat to be raised. Suddenly two white pick-ups drive into the field. Hurray the boys in blue to the rescue. "Sorry sir, we're just assessing the situation." It's the dreaded Safety Elf again. "Need a boat to do this. Can't have lads wielding chainsaws without a stable platform. Off they go and another 15 minutes with the saw from our friend on the broad beam and we have a way through.

Next stop lock 103 and a walk down the towpath to see the divers in the water raising the sunken boat sufficiently with well placed air bags to winch it to the side. Well by mid Friday afternoon it's out of the way and off we set for Reading.


Now you might think that is enough excitement. But no, and we haven't told you about the Woolhampton lock where you have to open the electrically operated road swing bridge a hundred yards downstream before you leave the lock and the mad reversing and leap to shore with the stern rope so your crew doesn't have to walk 2 miles to rejoin ship. The trip through Reading is something else. County lock; lowers the boat by 1 foot 2 inches. Nothing to worry about. No..... only it's on a blind right hand corner while the river goes straight on over a foaming weir. The trick is to alight under the road bridge on the bend and walk the boat round; but the current is so strong if you don't judge the landing right, shall we say you are glad your boat is made of steel. Then when you walk the boat out of the tail of the lock you are glad of the kind passer by who helps you heave it out of the eddy sucking the boat into the tail of the weir. And then the river narrows and one way traffic is the name of the game, controlled by traffic light! Push the button, we've got a green light, go.o.o.o.oo.!!!!!!! Sharp left into the Reading loop for a night's mooring. A loop off the main channel it might be but still a good flow so mooring was shall we say... interesting.

Saturday morning and out onto the Thames. It blowing a chill wind but at least we are going upstream which makes handling easier and we have big locks mannned by friendly lock-keepers, except that is for the ones that aren't. (It is out of season. River boaters don't come out in force till Easter it seems). At the unmanned ones herself amused herself pressing the buttons to make it all work. The Thames is wide, plenty of room, pretty scenery, grand houses and..... lack of good moorings for passing narrowboats.